Cutting Down the Tree

Cutting Down the Tree

There they were, for the third day in a row. As I drove on the country road, the elderly couple stood closely together in a field. The first time I saw them, the tree had just come down. I wasn’t sure if it had fallen in the recent storm or if they had cut it down. The way they stood, looking down at the tree’s debris that first day was a picture that stuck with me the rest of the day for some reason. They stood so still. His arms hung limply at his sides. She stood, arms hugging her middle. They both wore hats, shielding their faces but like a Van Gogh portrait, they just looked utterly dejected to me.

I drove past that day and hadn’t realized how curious I was until I saw them the next afternoon. They were in the field again, working together to cut the tree into manageable pieces. I was driving slowly behind an Amish buggy so I had plenty of time to view their work. The woman was thinner than I had thought from my brief glimpse the day before. She had her sleeves rolled up, baring thin, wiry arms. She was holding a large section of the tree while the man worked a saw. He had his flannel shirt tucked neatly in faded work pants. He was thin and bent over and not just from his work but by his age.

They did not speak. Just worked together in tandem. As I watched, I saw the woman take a tissue from her pocket. She wiped her eyes and quickly looked down at the tree again. The man took her hand and held it a moment. Then they went back to their task. And I drove past again. Curious.

The third day I saw them, all the wood had been cut and piled on a trailer. The man was raking and cleaning the area where the large tree had stood. The woman was bent over something. As there were not many cars around, I slowed down and saw she had a small tree bound in burlap that she was cutting open. When I glanced at the man, he had picked up a shovel and was digging further back in the field. So they were replacing their tree. I wonder what had brought the woman to tears. Had their tree held some sentimen for them?

Some neighbors where I grew up had planted a tree for each of their children. They took pictures every year to mark the growth of their children and the trees. A friend of mine planted a tree when her mother died and had placed a memorial plaque at its base. Could the old couple have memories such as these wrapped up in that tree?

I never thought to have any answers as it was just a passing curiosity but fate has a funny way sometimes of enlightening when you least expect it. Within a few days of seeing this couple, I noticed the phone company working on running new wire and placing a new pole near where the old tree had been. So it looked as if that tree had to be cut down after all.

A month or so later, I opened the local newspaper. As I glanced through pictures and headlines, something caught my eye: “Not Just a Tree.” Because I had trees on my mind, at least one in particular, I read the article written by a woman named Ruth. By the end, I was wiping tears. Here is what I read:

“Chet and I planted the maple when our daughter was born and the oak when our son was born. We placed the trees at each front corner of our property, as our children were to be the cornerstones of our lives. We had prayed for healthy children and the Lord granted us happy, healthy, hard-working kids that we were constantly proud of. Each spring, we took a picture of the kids by their trees, marveling at the growth of all concerned. In some pictures, when they were very young, you can see how proud they were of each inch they had grown. They stood so tall, maybe even on tip-toe to look taller. In later pictures, they looked less enthused. Especially our boy who in one shot has his head cocked to the side with a smirk that just screams ‘Aw, Ma, stop with the pictures already!’

Our Maggie did well in school, getting high marks in math and science. She became a veterinarian and now lives a little over an hour away. We are grateful she chose to live close enough so we can see our three grandchildren often. Our Greg was a wonderful baseball player. He did well in art and English in school and wrote poetry, which the girls always seemed to like. He went with one girl in particular and they would have gotten married, actually planned on it after graduation, except the war came up.

Greg finished one year at college and then ended up going to serve our country. We were proud but nervous of course, as thousands of others had been as they watched their sons and daughters leave to go to another country to fight someone else’s war. But we prayed for his safe deliverance and were delighted each time we got a letter from him and terrified each time we got a phone call at odd times of the day. As time passed, I found I could hardly stand it for the waiting for some news. Until it came and it was news that I thought would break me. Greg died over there. He had been moving some things out of a school when the bomb went off and killed him and two friends. All the children had been evacuated so he would have been glad of that.

But Chet and I were broken. He became even quieter than ever and I became busier than ever. We kept up with our work and our lives but it’s funny, I can’t remember much from that time for about a year or so. The summer after Greg passed, Maggie decided to have a memorial in Greg’s honor. We had a picnic as a celebration of his life. We set up tables and chairs and horseshoes and enjoyed a lovely day, very close to his tree. For months afterward, I would sit under that tree and talk to Greg. I never liked going to the cemetery. It was a nice spot but I didn’t feel him there. I somehow felt him with his tree. I could hear his laugh as the wind blew through the branches. I could feel his strength when I touched the trunk. It was a connection.

Recently, Greg’s tree had to be cut down to make room for ‘progress.’ Chet and I did it ourselves. We have prepared some logs to be given to family members and friends to use as yule logs, stuffed with herbs and remembrance. We salvaged some pieces and made picture frames. Some of the pieces that couldn’t be used were ground up and we used it as mulch for our new tree. Another oak. We planted it not just in memory of Greg, but as a sign of hope. Maybe someone who lives in our home someday will sit under its branches and hear the laughing of a sweet boy or the poetry of a brave young man.”

I find myself driving that stretch of road even when it is not convenient. Just to get a glimpse of Ruth and Chet. And their oak. I also find that I notice trees more. In parks, at people’s homes, along roadsides. I know in my head that there are many lessons to be found in nature and by listening to people who have experienced more of life, but I was thankful in my heart to have learned from this family and their tree.

Grey Morning

 

Grey Morning

Grey opens to silver
Wings brush the dust off branches
Soothing, softly against the leaves

Mists float above the grasses
So still the air
So soft, the light

So true and real
I might learn
Much from the quiet

Seeing Characters Everywhere & Saving the World

I think I saw Toulouse Lautrec at my kid’s basketball practice the other day. I also saw the Elephant Man at the hardware store. I am pretty sure Houdini was at my other kid’s soccer game, coaching for the other team. Van Gogh was selling hot dogs from a cart. This was not Montmartre in Paris nor was it a dream.

This could be an everyday occurrence; seeing characters everywhere. It takes an open mind, not shutting out any possibility. Amelia Earhart delivering mail on a rural route. Mata Hari driving a taxi in the city. Bela Lugosi a small town plumber. Orson Wells picking up garbage.

I have seen these things. Or at least imagined them in my waking life. Am I having a breakdown? Am I susceptible to flights of fancy because I’m a writer? I don’t think so, though you can never be sure, can you? I like to think I’m just in touch with my creative side.

Just because we’re not all famous doesn’t mean we don’t all have ideas or fantasies or dreams. The grocery clerk stocking shelves could be wishing he were handling important items like gold bars at Fort Knox. The traveling salesman with sample cases in his trunk could be fantasizing he’s a secret agent with state secrets to deliver at his next stop. The housewife doing her umpteenth load of laundry that month could come up with an ingenious idea for a folding machine.

We are capable of showing imagination. That’s a gift that gets tucked away in a closet, often unused and forgotten or at the least, taken for granted. Somehow as we “grow up,” that gets beaten out of us by real life. It becomes harder and harder to find shapes in the clouds or stories in strangers’ faces. But just open your eyes sometime. There are possibilities amidst the absurdity of the everyday. Are you really going to let yourself get lost in balancing a checkbook? Meeting a deadline? Deciding what’s for dinner? Are we really so small that it has to be one or the other? Grow up or make believe?

No. If that were so, we would not have need of movies or novels or music. We often say we “lose” ourselves in a book or movie or song, but I think that’s where we find a part of ourselves. The part than can imagine, create, believe.

So if I want to imagine the UPS delivery guy is coming to sweep me off my feet or the student teacher in my kid’s class is a spy or a neighbor is in the witness protection program, let me go. I just may come up with something wonderful. At least I’ll entertain myself. If we could all entertain ourselves a bit more and be open to the creativity of others, wouldn’t that help us all get along better?

I don’t always write with a message, but I think this one is clear: daydreaming may just save the world.

Vintage Watch

 

Vintage Watch

He was feeling on top of the world. That always sounded like such a stupid phrase before today. Especially since he usually felt he looked at the world through a skewed scope from the ground up. But now he found himself looking at the tops of skyscrapers and ruminating about the shapes of clouds. Things are definitely looking up, he thought to himself.

As he walked, he found he needed some air and some elbow room so he turned off the crowded sidewalk and onto a quieter alley with faded signs and some old cars parked on one side. He looked at the dingy shop windows as he walked. Old books. A record store. A coffee shop. Old suitcases and things. A tailor. Wait. Back up. What was that next to the old suitcase? He stopped and looked in the window. A watch. Why did it look so familiar? He found himself walking into the shop as if his feet were moving of their own volition.

The cozy smell of musty old attic permeated his nostrils. Specks of dust floated in the air like snowflakes. He gave a cursory look to the baubles and umbrellas and books and hats and shoes and pipes and photographs and pennants and scarves and glasses and watches and… there it was. The watch in the window. He looked around for someone to wait on him. He heard some rustling near the rear of the store so he just waited and looked at the watch. It wasn’t moving but somehow he knew how the ticking would sound. He didn’t touch it but somehow he knew the weight of it on his wrist. He could almost recall how the small scratch on the left side of the face had gotten there.

Suddenly the shopkeeper spoke to him, asking if he’d like to try it on. He nodded. The clerk took the watch from the display, held it for a moment, and then handed it over. The man put it on his wrist, fastening the band. The clerk said something about how it looked good on him or he wore it well or something like that. He wasn’t really listening. He was hearing… music? Had Big Band been playing on the radio when he walked in?

He thanked the old shopkeeper and walked out of the shop. It took maybe 35 seconds (the watch had just needed a good winding) for the man to realize something had shifted. Something was different. When he stopped admiring his wrist accoutrement, he looked up. Holy shit! Was he dreaming? Hallucinating? It was as if he was looking at an old issue of LIFE magazine. Everything looked clean, new. The buildings looked washed. Men wore hats and ties. Women had tailored dresses and heels. The cars looked vintage…1940-something. Was he on a movie set? He looked around for a camera crew, ready to apologize for walking in a shot, possibly ruining a take, but he saw no cameras.

Instead he saw people walking briskly by him, some tipping their hats, some smiling a quick smile. He walked a few paces then turned around. The shop was still there. The shopkeeper was looking at him through the window. Then he was gone. Wait. There he was at the door. The man went to him and raised his eyebrows as if to say, what the hell? Do you see this too? The man spoke.

“Try it on for three days. That’s our policy. You’ve got three days to find if it’s a good fit or all can be returned.”

The man looked again at his wrist. He knew the clerk wasn’t just talking about the watch. He also knew somehow that he was home. Modern living had never appealed to him. He didn’t like the disheveled state of the world he had left behind. He knew there was still hope in this decade. People hadn’t lost hope yet. He at least could hope here.

He nodded again, not finding a voice to ask the myriad questions cropping up in his head. He continued walking, marveling at how familiar the scene looked to him. He knew the shops and could recall most of the owners’ names. He neared the crossroads, not sure what the busy city street he had originally turned off would look like now. It was still busy. But slower. People didn’t seem to be in such a hurry. And it was quieter. The whole atmosphere was more polite.

He went directly to the coffee shop he knew from the next block and sat at the counter. Ordered coffee. When the waitress asked if he wanted pie, he declined. But she added that it was his favorite, apple pie. When he looked into her eyes, he saw a familiar gleam and said yes to the pie.

Waiting For a Bus

 

Waiting For the Bus

He drew his coat collar in closer. He blew a moment’s worth of warmth into his scarf before the cold wind whipped through him again. He hurried as he knew the bus stop with the protective plastic enclosure was in the next block. It was cold, with light flurries floating in the night air adding just enough magic to make it feel he was in a movie.

As he walked the quiet street, passing only a few people and seeing only a few taxis and cars, he imagined himself as a character in a movie. Maybe an action movie. Yeah, he’d take a cab and end up embroiled in an exciting car chase. Nah. A crime drama suited his mood better, starting with breaking up a robbery in progress at the local bodega. Hmmm. Nope. He didn’t feel up to any car chase excitement or possible violence to his person.

He could see the dim lights and garish signage of the bus stop just ahead. As he approached, he noticed someone sitting on the bench bundled in a puffy coat huddled over an ereader. He noticed the rugged but small boots. A woman, with dark hair curling out from underneath her knit hat. She glanced up as he neared and he was met with the clearest blue eyes he had ever seen. They reminded him of his favorite Crayola crayon, “Robin’s Egg Blue.” Then she smiled. A slightly crooked, bright, beautiful smile. He reflexively smiled back, hoping for less of a Goofy grin and more of a Cary Grant cool smirk. In the movie reel in his head, he was fresh off a crime caper and was heading into the requisite romantic scene.

Except he didn’t know his lines. This was his big break. The meet-cute. The part where they would exchange witty banter and saunter off in the fog together from here to eternity. He tried to rummage through his brain for a good opener, but could only think of B-movie cheesy pick-up lines. What would Bogart have said? He hoped his silence would come off as a stoic Gary Cooper but feared his sneering smirk and staring gaze was more of a creepy Peter Lorre.

OK. He needed to get a grip. This was not the Golden Age of cinema. This was real life with all its grit and glory and discomfort and exhilaration. He was just a guy waiting for a bus. And she was just a girl waiting for a bus. No big deal. She was a beauty though, he thought as he surreptitiously glanced her way again. Could he be happy with himself if he passed up this chance at real magic?

He took his hands out of his pockets to check his watch and as he did, a little notepad fell out. He didn’t realize until he saw her reaching that it had fallen open, face-up. Before he could move, she had picked it up and had glanced at the page in front of her.

“Poetry?” she asked with a musical, husky voice that felt like warm caramel to his ears and she looked up at him with those eyes. “Yours?”
“Uh, yeah,” he replied, pleased to force some sound from his throat.
“Are you a writer?” she asked.
“Sort of. A hobby. I’m a computer programmer,” he answered. “Mostly web stuff. And some games.”
“I write too. Well, I’m in advertising in my real life but I write songs,” she said. And smiled up at him.
“Do you sing?” he asked as he moved to sit on the bench near her.
“Not really, but a friend of mine sometimes throws my songs in her sets at a bar near here.”
“Has anyone recorded your stuff?” he asked.
“Nah. I really just do it for fun. Not too serious at this point.” She handed him his notebook. “Do you have stuff published?”
“Well, uh, yeah, actually,” he stumbled, wondering why he was suddenly nervous. Would she think it pansy of him to have published books of poetry? And if so, why did he care? She was cute and he wanted to feel macho, that’s why, he reasoned.
He cleared his throat and opted for truth and optimism. “I’ve had two books of poems published and I’m working on my first full-length novel.”

He waited to hear disapproval or at least detect disinterest just like when he talked about writing with his family or his coworkers. He was pleasantly surprised to find neither. She seemed to almost bubble with excitement. Like Carole Lombard or Claudette Colbert.

Except she was better. She was real. In Technicolor. He realized how cold he was after he saw her shivering. Checking his watch, he noticed the bus was late. He asked if maybe she’d like to join him for a drink at her friend’s bar. She said sure. It made him feel like a matinee idol, walking a quiet city street on a snowy night with a beautiful woman. The night was full of promise.

They could not stop finding things to talk about, laugh about. With each moment, he felt warmer. In his head, the movie would end as they left the cold behind, walked into the smoky bar together with the musical score a cool jazz.

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