Thursday, I delight in my white hair

as it brushes my young skin and I hold

my own hands happily waiting in line.

Monday, I can barely look at the hag

in the mirror with her old hair and large body,

all heavy with regret and sadness.

Friday, I’m in love so every song

and painting and poem seems meant

for me and my beloved.

Wednesday is an existential bore, a

son-of-a-bitch who likes to hand me a whip

and instruct me on proper self-flagellation.

Sunday is for grief for the lives I’ve seen

and for those paths I didn’t choose

because there was no one to believe in me.

Tuesday, my hips ache and my elbows

are dry and I don’t understand the trend

of caterpillar eyelashes or dull nails.

Saturday, I am free without a bra in morning

and stretch my mind with books and relish

those who’ve touched me and touch me still.

I fold myself into Nordic socks

because the patterns speak to me

and I’m cold in an empty house.

Nobody bothered to tell me

I’d wake up with no face

or that the sky would fail to rouse me

because sadness weighs more than clouds.

I cook the meat and stir the stale air.

Tomorrow may be different

but only as far as the sun’s reach

because I’m in a constant spin.

I wonder if the flowers will return.

evil winds

nothing in my pockets,

just empty hands and tired dreams

.

hindered by ice and faulty bones

with just fragments of song

and nobody to dance with

.

doors are closing

at an alarming rate,

my god is cold and alone now

.

when I squint, the fields are an ocean

and we’re all unborn

In my house,

there’s lots of fuzz and woody things

and sometimes too much quiet.

In my lap,

I tend to fiddle with my hands

and fight the urge to describe everything.

In my yard,

a bird has walked across the snow,

leaving little prints that look like arrows.

In my cup,

I like to swirl hot liquids

that make my tongue celebrate being alive.

There’s no helmet for me

so I struggle with the weight

of all that falls

and lands in my hair,

terrors pinned in place

like corporal punishment

or any rank Tuesday.