Circular

Morning at 50
is not unlike afternoon as a child,
a little tired and very hungry
from exertions imagined or real,
possibly an ache or two,
depending how brave we’re feeling.

The dawn air is heavy with a storm coming
and it’s quiet as I await my children,
just as I used to await my parents.
I don’t know why I’m awake so much.
I’m not that ambitious.
My dreams have always taken a lot
of my time and sleep is too passive,
so my body is often pushed by my mind
to do things in a disputed timeframe,
finding myself at odds with myself.
A woman and a child.

Wildflowers and Pocketknives

I’m sorry about the morning,
I started to type
but I had second thoughts (again)
about my reach across time and space
and what little control there is
aside from what shoes to wear
and which daydream to choose
to endure the struggle

A photo of tiny galoshes made me sad
because my children don’t need me
as much though they still curl up with me
and we laugh with more understanding now

Skirting the gaping chasm of aloneness
has become an unwelcome pastime
even when I am as still as I can be
as shadows chase my shifting boundaries

Missing a piece of myself
which may not have ever existed
except in books
then stumbling onto love is like
finding a match with a fern in the woods
only to be drawn into a storm with no shoes
while love is holding a canoe
offering a way home

Being

It’s time, just time
that we can vouch for
passing us by
yet there’s more
than the sum
of our bruised parts
in the time we spend,
shamelessly borrowing
from poets and lovers
all the ways
we come together,
muddled and free,
safely… being.

We can claim the quiet times
of late night
with our own particular language
derived from things we don’t speak of
in the light of day;
at night, the moon is our witness
and she understands shadowy promise.

Nine Ways of Seeing a Tree

(after Wallace Stevens)

I
Among hills and roads on the way home,
there is a tree that cradles the sun
as it takes its place each morning.

II
I feel my thoughts sway
like the branches of the tree,
to and fro, this way and that.

III
The tree is steadfast
in its role of observer and keeper of roots.

IV
It is hard to see movement of days
standing alongside a tree,
except the way the leaves move
as wind turns from the sun.

V
I know some given names of trees
but most I do not know
and I know it does not matter
what we call ourselves because we are One.

VI
When the tree bent before the wind,
I learned humility
and forgot my pride.

VII
As the leaves reached beyond branches,
the trunk of the tree swelled
with excitement at discovery.

VIII
The tree is shifting.
We must be shifting too.

IX
It was a quiet wood
in the middle of unnamed places
in the middle of the city
in the middle of my daydreams.
And it was blessedly quiet inside the tree.

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