bereft
I never left
absurd
how the scene clings
even with eyes closed
shut tight
bright fireworks
behind my eyelids
shadows dancing beneath
my heart
beats
the music
climbs
reaching
not quite there
but not here
anymore
please
I can do this
wait
but a moment will not be wasted
you’re gone
already
I’m torn
between
shadows and flashes of light
hands clenched
bracing
for the blows
that never stop coming
even later
when it’s quiet
the music
the light
keeps me awake
Looking Now
Shadows that came after
Hid discovery and laughter
It was all new once
Before views were dimmed by others
When imagination was shiny and new
When fun was fun and blue was blue
Before I knew the backstory
It was simple not labyrinthine
Now overgrown and hidden
Logic erupts unbidden
Ghosts of who we were emerge
Dreams we once thought were plenty
Tearing away vestiges of youth
We hope but come up empty
Returning each season
We suspend most reason
Look for magic
Ignore the naysayers
Those who look for patterns
Those who look for answers
They dwell too much it’s true
In the past or the future
We enjoy words, shapes and lines
Travelling in the now of time.
Same Old Song
He was lonely, playing his music was not enough
Her toes danced under the covers
But she wouldn’t wait
So as the storm raged on outside
She gasped and closed her eyes
While he was on his way
Any danger held at arms length
Later they would talk and not listen
Confessions would be made
After all the awkward pauses
A slow dance in a dark room
The distant sound of a train breaks the quiet
The same old song plays in the background
As they strain to listen
The conversation goes in circles
With each day bringing surprises to no one
But they hold on for no other reason
Than finding themselves lost alone
And with searching in common
They weathered the storm
The music tiding them over.
Not Alone
Please. Don’t go. Not yet. I don’t want to be alone. Not tonight. The air feels strange and the clouds are hiding the moon. I can’t get my bearings. Not by stars. I’m so warm, burning on the inside but my skin is cold.
You knew before you you saw me I was in trouble. Was it my tone or my choice of ideas to express? Did my eyes give me away or was it the too-big smile? Most are happy to be fooled into inaction. Most just keep walking by. But will you stop? Stay awhile?
There’s so much more I can do besides care about grammar or punctuation. I have so many songs to sing if only someone can help me with the words. My head hurts again. It’s so hard to think with the pounding. So I let go and let you take over while I try to stay upright.
I can almost feel the caress of your words. Your fingers gently gliding as the pen makes real the fantasy. Soothing and thoughtful, the dusky twilight comes alive with fireflies and poetry. My own thoughts jumbled, nothing to keep me company but for some far off dreamer.
Light in a Jar
I wished on a star but came up empty
But my jar was still full of light.
When I tried to chase the music I fell down the hill
And landed in a verdant green valley
That tried to lull me into peace
But I didn’t buy it
And used the stones to step across
To the charred remains
Of someone else’s dreams.
But I understood this shell
This empty wreckage
Because it’s what I carry every day
Sometimes hidden sometimes so painfully aware
To anyone who is sucker enough to ask how am I.
But until I can answer honestly
I will keep wishing on stars
And chasing the music
And fill up on words and images that make sense and don’t hurt.
The Word Rummager 