old songs in the wagon

she entered the story
heard that old song
could almost feel his lips on her neck
remember walking up the two flights of steps
just to say goodbye
over and over again

she began to write looking to echo lost love
but somehow found heartache
that she thought had been long buried
but was not quite dead
she had not seen it coming
until it came out of her fingertips

she recalled thinking he was the one
he had told her she was just another
but she could not leave
not after that night at the window
when they had seen beyond the music and the smoke
into each other’s souls, as trite as that sounded now

careening down the highway in that old wagon
it was pouring rain and she ventured nearer to him
that song played and fit like a perfect soundtrack
they had so many lost weekends as the years flew by
but he always held her aloft and she wanted to land
as he spiraled into his own depths she could not shake him

so many years later the lines of the song
were now etched on her face
he was back from some lover’s graveyard
was almost flesh and blood the memory was so vivid
her skin tingled as it had after the final embrace
but she was writing the story now

writing the story did not give any of the time back
it was like looking at old polaroids
awkward and poorly lit memories
that served to remind and illuminate and entertain
and it was just possible not to lose one’s heart again
if only the words were kept at bay

catalyst

“Have I lost you?” he asked.
“I was never yours to lose,” she answered. “Not really.”

He wondered how that could be when he had memorized the curve of her face and could decipher at least seven of her smiles.

She shifted in her seat, looking ready to bolt. He was reminded of a racehorse chomping at the bit to get out of the gate. But she was no thoroughbred. She was a very damaged human being. How could she leave?

“Where will you go?” he asked.
She stopped her scanning of the room and looked at him directly. She held his gaze a moment before saying softly, “Does it matter?”
He wanted it to matter. He wished the time they had spent meant something.

“Can’t we just go back and…”
She cut him off. “There’s no going back, just like there’s no taking back the things you said.”
“But don’t you see,” he pleaded, “those vicious words were not for you. I was full of those words before you came along. Those same words brought you to me. You’re helping me pour them out.”
She looked down at the ground.
He almost whispered, “Don’t you want to see how the story ends?”
She looked up at him, her eyes brimming with tears.
He crooked a finger under her chin and met her halfway with a kiss.
Gentle. Quiet.
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s go home.”
She wavered for another moment and then said “I can’t let you destroy me.”
“I won’t.”

They stood another moment looking at each other, each realizing they had put their heart in the other ‘s hands. Their heads full of stories, they turned and walked home.

dared and won

he was new and slick and young and stupid

I was old and rusty and jaded and smart

disaster loomed like a raincloud over a chalky hopscotch game

we dared to buck any odds against chemistry and charisma

but I can’t lie

there was a sweetness too

that couldn’t be helped

couldn’t be fought

devotion won the day

if not the war

so we plodded along with our messy frolic

both happy to be stupid and risky and sated and rich

like betting board-game money except this was real

and we had dared and won

I knew

I knew your lips would be sweet
I’d been watching them for awhile
as you talked, smiled

I knew we’d fit when we danced
we’re too old to pretend otherwise
to believe in perfection
when just the feel of skin is enough

I knew morning would come too soon
the stars giving way to streaks of dawn
before we had exhausted our conversation

tangling

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sliding down the wall
a heap of limbs
tangled
like tired vines
shedding fruit
they stretched against each other
brushing aside shadows
reveling in dusk
where stars and fireflies meet
before all is quiet
one last howl
greeting the crescent moon
sounds of the world
recede
no cars or talking
just rustling leaves
to be heard
amidst their calming breaths
as they watch the last streaks
of violet and midnight
meshing
tangling

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