Seedy Ballad

The bats are in the belfry
the dew is on the moor
where are the arms that held me
and pledged her love before
and pledged her love before

Had he really wasted so much time, exploring dark recesses
Scooping up shiny rocks, hoping they were diamonds
When there was magic lurking beneath his skin
He was too sick to have ever seen any other path
He never saw her keeping pace but remaining a wallflower

It’s such a sad old feeling
the fields are soft and green
it’s memories that I’m stealing
but you’re innocent when you dream, when you dream
you’re innocent when you dream

His grizzled words growl off the yellowed page
Raging yet gentle like an autumn sunset
Howling, wailing, a lament for having been born
He had felt too much, drank too much, tried to tune out too much
This day was like a revival, a celebration of sensations

Running through the graveyard
we laughed my friends and I
we swore we’d be together
until the day we died
until the day we died

Breaking out of his too-tight skin, ideas poured out like cleansing fire
The years were transfigured in his memory, grotesque
Waiting like rusty weather vanes to find directions of the wind
She sharpened her pencils and softened her heart
Helping him over and through the tangled thickets of pain and despair

I made a golden promise
that we would never part
I gave my love a locket
and then I broke her heart
and then I broke her heart

They traveled through narrow alleys and wide plains
She cradled his head when he felt tortured
He caressed her with his words, sometimes roughly
She took what he gave, he hurtled through space and time
They sipped from seedy wells and tasted the fading gaudy sunrise

It’s such a sad old feeling
the fields are soft and green
it’s memories that I’m stealing
but you’re innocent when you dream, when you dream
you’re innocent when you dream

Like dawn

You’re looking at me but seeing her
I know that look, it’s happened before
Sitting there stunned
wondering how I know
it’s because I was there too
in one way or another.
The light behind her
as she stood in the doorway
saying goodbye
without quite getting
that it was breaking you.
I am quite good at picking up pieces
and forming patterns
out of broken hearts.
You see he looked at me the same way
with great charm
but without an ounce of soul
as he made his messy exit.
Your last night with her
will never leave you
but that’s ok
since I’ll never forget him either.
But that doesn’t mean
we can’t make our own mandalas
with the shards we’ve become
not so empty just broken
waiting to be laid out in a new bed
of our making.
It will be messy and beautiful
and ours looking forward like dawn.

hurt

ugh
that hurt
right in the gut
trying to silence me
any way you can
you tried the face
but I don’t hold truck with looks
you tried withholding food
but I have other things to feed me
you tried screwing with my head
but I have other reserves
you don’t even know about
untying my robe
that I kept on for comfort
trying to bate me
baring me
to your gaze
but something you can’t understand
is that I’m not afraid
of pain of flesh
when it’s so fleeting
it’s the soul searing pain
of the loss of your touch
and the emptiness
I face without your words
I fear
so hurt me
and I’ll know you’re still there

Will the Magic be Gone?

They moved together restlessly
She with hesitation
He with impatience
She knew things he did not
He understood things she never would
Exploring, guiding, testing, discovering, tensing, releasing, breathing
He reached, touched
Her body smiled
He understood the where and when, cause and effect
Like a scientist mixing vital chemicals creating a reaction
She was carried on a wave
Despite herself
Despite what she knew, how it would end
He moved in ferocious tempo
Moved to unveil secrets
She stopped with
“Will the magic be gone?”
Hesitation, empty platitudes.
“When you see me, the magic will go “
He created a new wave
She let herself be distracted
Closed her eyes.
Let go.
As he looked, she dissolved into warm light.
She was gone.
He was grasping at shadows and light
She could see, not feel
He could touch but not see
Too far apart
Dimensions to cross
She knew this world of illusion
He understood transience of flesh
They moved slowly
To find a way either back or somewhere else
She with patience
He with disbelief
Exploring, reaching, holding, tasting, hoping, being.

battle to love

finding you
traversing the battlefield
obstacles in the way
it’s war, they say
between lovers
trying to find their way
choosing words, clothes, manners
carefully
but getting burned
all the while
by apathy or disgust, despair
loneliness being a spectre
the warzone becomes common ground
all parties equally lost
but searching
niceties set aside
for heartfelt declarations
there are no heroes
or Purple Hearts
just broken hearts and trails of tears
littering the path
to love
and sunshine
and a new day
when the rain washes away
the wounds
the battle scars remaining
as badges
to build dreams upon

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