behind a mask

swinging long hair behind her
she finds moving harder than ever
her limbs won’t obey her whims
too many phases of the moon
not enough dawns in her memory
walking by hordes each with stories
she carefully avoids interaction
for fear of her fears rising to meet her
easier to pass by rather than through

my heart breaks when I see her
so fragile and almost empty
behind the thin vellum she hides
her face animated
more a grotesque mask
betraying a life within

does she recall her youth
toiling in fields in hot summer
walking to school in the snow
falling in love at the diner
or is she already buried
a walking ghost

does she know her loneliness
is etched upon her face
and that all could change
if she opened
unhinged her rusty gate
she says it’s too late
with a crooked grin
but somehow
there has to be a way

a peek out the window

sitting idly a moment
tearing her gaze away
meaningless numbers on the screen
looking out the window
she’d almost forgotten the world outside
frosty fall morning
visible breaths on passers by
children at play nearby
there a girl was a whirling dervish
a boy playing with his shadow
another boy walking awkwardly
like Chaplin’s Tramp
viewing the playground
she looked for her counterpart
not in the foot races
the jump rope rhymes annoyed her
the swings were always taken
there- under the tree
a girl that she could have been
sitting hunched over a book
a smile spread across her face

new slice of sunshine

he surprised everyone
becoming animated suddenly
after hours of sitting
taking in the festivities
with an aloof disdain
but seeing the ghost of her walk in
seemingly unchanged after decades
threw him into an agitated joy
never thinking it through
realizing it had to be someone else
he set her in his sights
wanted to go to her
but stood paralyzed by indecision
what to say after dreaming this moment
there were too many words
all inadequate
he contented himself to watch
talking out loud with wild eyes
to anyone who stood near
telling tales of their love story
as he nostalgically recalled
details of her perfume, favorite sweater
he could still recite her favorite poem
though it never made sense to him
as he heard her laugh
memories collided with the present
causing such a burn in his chest
he wasn’t sure how he’d survive it again
she drifted through the room
so smoothly
he thought maybe she really was a ghost
and the moment they locked eyes
he was transported
to that day in the old house
in the bell room
amid the orchids
the incongruity
of the sunny day and the tears
the anger and the puffy clouds outside
how his mind had splintered
along with his heart
jolted back into the presence
by her smiling at him
he stood transfixed
she made her way to him
drawing nearer
he started to see differences
in her face and eyes
it wasn’t her after all
but as they began to talk
he saw a glimmer within this new girl
no longer a memory
but a new slice of sunshine
that pierced his heart
giving hope
that there was still a man
lurking beneath the shell
and this girl
wasn’t his past
but just maybe
he had been granted a chance
to start again

couldn’t wait

now the truth is
she couldn’t wait
not one more day
she didn’t care much for truth
funnily enough
just the lovely lyrical sound
of his voice
in harmony
with his hands
strumming through her
the notes crescendoing
like a landslide within her
heart beating, breath catching
hoping to reach the bridge
before crashing
complete
spent
finding truth in abandon
hoping he’d begin again

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