Grappling

I didn’t think songs about home 

would hurt. I thought time 

would erase the lashings, 

the panic, the ensuing numbness… 

I was hoping to laugh at my scars 

like they did on the Orca in “Jaws.” 

I didn’t know I would struggle to 

overcome my own tendencies. 

I knew I was small. I know I will 

laugh and be sad and try 

until I don’t have to. I didn’t know 

home was a mythical place 

near the sternum.