Tag: death

Summer Pines

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Could it be so much time has passed
Noone remembers that summer?
Walking through the woods
At the edge of town
Children’s laughter echoing amid treetops
I was but a child myself
Curious how you would go about slaying my dragons which I had imagined but didn’t realize you thought were real
I was not ready for the single, beautiful flower you gave me that day
And how I wish I could take back the surprise and confusion which shown on my face when you were just looking for acceptance
How it pained my young soul to see that glimmer in your eye waver
How I wanted to fix that bridge that led from innocence to awareness
We didn’t stop talking that summer
And I am so glad we ran into each other in the fall
I didn’t want you to go
I was a child and didn’t understand
Why I wanted to draw you nearer
But by winter you were gone
I found out while dancing
And I couldn’t stop
But my heart cracked
All over that icy street
Leaving me without breath
For days, weeks
I’d never again be able to ask anyone to slay my dragons
Or see rugged pines
Without thinking of that summer
And you

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Tainted Joy

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Driving the quiet old highway
Just after dawn
Cresting the curve
Blackbirds rise from the field
Joining others from memory
Flashes come quickly
The first flutter in the womb
The agonizing tearing away
The hollow loss
Empty hands aching
To hold the little one
Now just a figment
Try to hold onto the wheel
As the car careens toward pastures
Lush with life
The tainted joy still remains
Somewhere deep within
The hope of a future
A chance at redemption
In one little perfect smile
Now wiped away
And no one remembers anymore
Except an empty womb
That still feels the flutters
Gone too soon
On the other side of that hill
On that old highway
As the sun peeks over the hills

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A Tight Grip on Remembering

 

Words can’t fill gaping holes in rock
Rebuilding doesn’t bring back the past
Only echoes of feeling remain
Only shadows of memories
I can’t bring myself to talk to a stone
Or visit a quiet place that smells of mothballs and platitudes
I would much rather visit you where it’s green
And the river sounds like your laughter

Others want to bring flowers or wear ribbons
While I want to run and run until I can’t stand it
To be so tired I can’t think anymore
So I fill up on other things

I read but the smell of the page reminds me of you
I sing but I choke on any words that try to escape
I walk and know you’re nearby and waiting
So I shiver and hope for more time

Tripping into mansions full of bird songs and breezes
Grasses nearby sway in the wind
The musty attic inside me is swept neatly under the rug
So many shades of dust swirl together
Are forgotten when I step outside
My skin drinks up the sunshine but my hands stay cold
Trying to keep my grip in the present but it’s hard to even want to let go
Because I don’t want to remember almost as much as I don’t want to forget

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