Waiting Room

Sitting in the waiting room
makes me wish for
privacy booths
Where I don’t have to pretend
to be idly passing the time
instead of waiting
with held, stilted breath
to find out if I’m a goner
Where I don’t have to engage
in furtive smiles of pity
or faux understanding
and be subjected to
out of date, tattered magazines
Give me a curtain I can draw
and a a quiet spot
blocking out diffused mood lighting
and pop songs turned elevator music
Waiting for the unknown is hard enough
without it being such a public display
My life’s about to change
I can’t sit here any longer
and pretend its another Tuesday

August 6, 2013 0

Don’t Write Me Off

Don’t write me off just yet
I’ve just been tired
Can’t seem to catch my breath

Be careful what you wish for they say
Being open to possibility can be a trick
You can be too open to heartache

I’ve worked so hard to let go
Exist only in the moment
Let the past and future alone

But the moment is overwhelming
Too many sensations
I’m breaking down

Don’t leave me just yet
I can learn to focus on you
You can be my moment

You have all the colors of the spectrum
All the tastes I require
All the music I need

Where I was alone now there’s hope
Company calls and I deck the halls
And return from climbing walls

If I try really hard I can separate lines
Detect your patterns
Revel in your ability to help complete me

Don’t give up on me just yet
I’ve got my second wind
I’m awake and ready to Be

August 5, 2013 0

Fragile Funnies

Wading through dew-laced lawn
I trip over some hardy flowers
Stunned because they looked so fragile
They were much stronger than I
Lying there face to face with color
I realized my world had become two dimensional
And colorless
Like a daily comic strip
When it could be so much more
Like a Sunday funny

August 3, 2013 0

Wide Awake

Wide awake
it hurt too much to sleep
and when pain ebbed
the numbing was even worse
Just thinking of the right words
something, anything
to make it right again
was enough to make anyone crazy
Curling and tossing on the bed
such a hollow feeling
a glaring reminder of being alone
even if someone else was there
These hours locked away
in the dead quiet of night
stole sane thoughts
and left all bereft
Rest would not come
when so much was wrong
if there were ways of turning the tides
they may be vetted in the dark

August 3, 2013 0

Dozing

So very, very tired
My hands are shaking too much
There’s no handle for me to hold
My legs are about to buckle
I hope no one minds
I need a spot
in the middle of the floor
To hunker down
Curl up and rest my eyes
So nice and quiet
Underneath polite chatter
By all means
Proceed with your business
I just can’t remain upright
Sitting’s no good
The waves pour over me then
And when I’m sodden
I fall
All my joints are bent
No straight lines
I’m so tired I can’t see where my feet would take me
Please just let me lie here
Your voice, though faraway,
heralds the dose of reality I need
My eyes though shut allow flickers
light and sound seep in
This is nice
Maybe dreams will visit me here
If no one minds me dozing
in the middle of their neat little plans