This is living
And not just pretending again
But real living with manners and photos and the right shoes
I may have to stop occasionally
To look at shapes in the clouds
And heaven help me if all I see is mist
When there’s so much more

But for now I’ll keep moving
Toward the end of today
When I can lay my head on my pillow
And know I’m sane and adjusted enough

Making conversation never seemed so grand
And settling in is sometimes just settling
But you may just have to give a little
To find more

Treading water with other throngs
Wanting to break out once in awhile is nothing new
But to me is everything
So to keep moving forward and not alone
Is hedging some expectation and promise
And winging it forward and closing eyes shut
And hoping for the best.

trembling, frustration overcoming fear
sitting at the table, like a seance
by all means let’s raise the ghost
a toast to the venerated
but I’m vulnerable
and liable to speak through the vapors
the mist that clouds their vision

can you not see what I saw?
not even for a moment
glimpse the cuts and jabs
that went too deep for repair

so a little longer, mediocrity dwells
no raised fists with the raised glasses
some pictures can be edited
no truths to be told
just buried
so they can be happy
with the things they cannot change