poetry – Page 269 – The Word Rummager

Shadows that came after
Hid discovery and laughter
It was all new once
Before views were dimmed by others
When imagination was shiny and new
When fun was fun and blue was blue
Before I knew the backstory
It was simple not labyrinthine
Now overgrown and hidden
Logic erupts unbidden

Ghosts of who we were emerge
Dreams we once thought were plenty
Tearing away vestiges of youth
We hope but come up empty

Returning each season
We suspend most reason
Look for magic
Ignore the naysayers
Those who look for patterns
Those who look for answers
They dwell too much it’s true
In the past or the future
We enjoy words, shapes and lines
Travelling in the now of time.

Please. Don’t go. Not yet. I don’t want to be alone. Not tonight. The air feels strange and the clouds are hiding the moon. I can’t get my bearings. Not by stars. I’m so warm, burning on the inside but my skin is cold.

You knew before you you saw me I was in trouble. Was it my tone or my choice of ideas to express? Did my eyes give me away or was it the too-big smile? Most are happy to be fooled into inaction. Most just keep walking by. But will you stop? Stay awhile?

There’s so much more I can do besides care about grammar or punctuation. I have so many songs to sing if only someone can help me with the words. My head hurts again. It’s so hard to think with the pounding. So I let go and let you take over while I try to stay upright.

I can almost feel the caress of your words. Your fingers gently gliding as the pen makes real the fantasy. Soothing and thoughtful, the dusky twilight comes alive with fireflies and poetry. My own thoughts jumbled, nothing to keep me company but for some far off dreamer.

Bored with torment, smiling at tears
She wants to feel something, anything
“Mark me!” she cries.
Welcoming any sensation taking her out of her head.

He wants to care for her, be there for her
He can’t grasp her meaning
“Show me!” she pleads.
Wanting to see any picture of comfort, contentment.

They climb toward some peak, straining
Neither understanding but hoping
“Hold me!” she sighs.
Knowing there’s hope in acceptance.

This is living
And not just pretending again
But real living with manners and photos and the right shoes
I may have to stop occasionally
To look at shapes in the clouds
And heaven help me if all I see is mist
When there’s so much more

But for now I’ll keep moving
Toward the end of today
When I can lay my head on my pillow
And know I’m sane and adjusted enough

Making conversation never seemed so grand
And settling in is sometimes just settling
But you may just have to give a little
To find more

Treading water with other throngs
Wanting to break out once in awhile is nothing new
But to me is everything
So to keep moving forward and not alone
Is hedging some expectation and promise
And winging it forward and closing eyes shut
And hoping for the best.

trembling, frustration overcoming fear
sitting at the table, like a seance
by all means let’s raise the ghost
a toast to the venerated
but I’m vulnerable
and liable to speak through the vapors
the mist that clouds their vision

can you not see what I saw?
not even for a moment
glimpse the cuts and jabs
that went too deep for repair

so a little longer, mediocrity dwells
no raised fists with the raised glasses
some pictures can be edited
no truths to be told
just buried
so they can be happy
with the things they cannot change