an impression

 

“paint your palette blue and gray… with eyes that know the darkness in my soul…shadows on the hills… in colors on the snowy linen land… soothed beneath the artist’s loving hand… now I understand”


driving by rote
never seeing beyond the steering wheel
something moved just out of sight
when I looked
the scenery was a blur of snow, trees, pastel sky
and it was terribly wonderful
a moment, a snapshot
a jolt from an artist I should recall more often
beyond the cliche is the truth about time
and how it passes

(italicized lyrics, Don McLean “Vincent”)

with abandon

so much more rattling around

wanting to find a way out
it seems like magic swirling around
sometimes consuming
more than I intended

glimpses escaped over the years
stories to tell
but not until recently
did I give myself leave to speak
now I can’t shut up

veering wildly across platforms
no compass
feeling very gonzo writing with no edits
letting the freak flag unfurl
wondering where I’m headed

today, this moment, I’m questioning why
that’s not a good sign
usually I stop dancing with abandon
and abandon the dance to think
and I’m not tired yet

I want to let go

please fool me

don’t wanna know the science
 behind fire breathing

don’t need to know how card tricks work

wanna take levitation and disappearing acts at face value

wanna gasp at the sword swallower

don’t tell me about genetics
wanna believe I’m unique
don’t teach me mathematics
wanna find patterns in nature alone

don’t wanna stop believing in fairies
don’t need to told about hell
wanna see angels in my garden
wanna be fooled please again and again

how we fill time

we’re all just filling time
so many ways, shapes
busyness for no reason
languishing
awaiting answers to questions unasked
ducks lined up neatly
is not the whole story
freedom surrounds, but not really
the popular paths are open
wherever we want to go, within reason
we have all we ask for
in secret prayers long ago
but we find ourselves
bereft and alone
and wishing for less
less to keep track of
less to answer for
and wanting more
more open fields
more open days

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