another little piece of me is gone
surrendered to time
when I was asleep, I was six again
with the world a bright, sunshiny place
when poetry met me in a field near the school
but when I awoke
it was so dark in my room
no stars or moon
and I was old, beyond my own reckoning
but I still had words
to describe and comfort
so when I fell asleep again I was seventeen
on the cusp of a bigger world
with more people and places
and words faded as I soaked in the city
when I turned around I was twenty-eight
with my own walls closing me in
there were few words as I made a family
but again at thirty-nine the words bowled me over
as I saw a field like when I was six
I began to write
hoping to capture the feelings
so when I’m ninety-nine I’ll remember
my dreams when I’m awake
The Word Rummager 
I like this 1 big time.
Some very tight phrasing but still possesses a lyrical rhythm that smooths the bumpy journey as u take us through time.
Reading it I felt like I was being led by the hand through secret garden hideouts exclusive only to the kind of children that delight in daydreams. It was like u were showing me ur “special places” throughout ur life. Even though u mention ages throughout, time seemed irrelevant & kinda non-existent- if that makes any fkn sense- I dunno 🙂
I’ll try again 😉 haha
– reading it I felt as if ur inner child was guiding me thru the inner-world of the poem & ur secret-blossoming throughout ur life. Strangely, but in a good way, it was like the child was mischievously running away from the adult you who is sitting watching over the poem, physically writing it even- but not in control of its meanderings-somehow the child has ctl of the pen, the reader, time, destiny/destination, the next line, & the adult self is there like a parent 2 supervise & pen the poem, but never 2 intervene
Haha that probly made less sense the 2nd time!! Did it?? Lol
I’m a fakn weirdo sometimes I swear 🙂
Lol. Good poem anyway Rummy!!! Hugs H… 😉
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I am so glad you enjoyed this piece, H! And what wondrous comments! I will reread them whenever I need an extra boost. I appreciate the thoughts and expression. Come back often!
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🙂
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