Smudged

Finally a gap
that couldn’t be breached
with his arms or mine-
too far apart, too far;
the touch of his hand
on my back
will never be felt,
my cheek against his
was just imagination…

it will be a civil unrest
in my chest
and I will self-medicate
to smudge rigid lines of reality,
to find a place of quiet beauty
for us,
where small dreams lie peacefully
and bloom gloriously
without malice or fear.