Tag: poetry

Lost Within

I thought I would be lost in the chaos
That I had to have order and precision and discipline
That all things had to be in neat rows
In order
Including my dreams
I had no idea that there is a beautiful tableau
When you just let go
That nature forms its own patterns
That we can live those exquisite swirls and lines

But I walked awhile all alone
And saw grasses blowing in a tempest
And water sluicing downhill over rocks
The wind and water drawing perfect lines over all they touched
The sky looked a tangle of clouds and the trees a blur of leaves
But I had no complaint
It looked like chaos
But I knew there were patterns
I just had to look differently

So I let myself float on possibility
Let words flow from my fingers
Embraced a little chaos
Saw lines unfurling in ways I had not predicted
The wind and water swirled
And I felt the strings loosen around me
Fewer tethers
And it was beautiful
And I was where I needed to be.

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Idling

Such a lot of time spent idling
When the road will not stay put like you hope
We bemoan stagnancy and yet try desperately to hold to our comfort
So move already
Don’t think too much about it
Don’t worry about what you may become
Don’t look back over your shoulder too often
Just watch the road and if you leave it, take some care
Remember the route
To find your way across, along, beside, or around it.

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A New Chapter

When the tide ebbs and my feet aren’t covered with gritty foam
When the moon is swallowed up by waves and darkness
When I can no longer stand in the cold all alone
It will finally be over.

The struggles of the bird against the wind
The troubles my tongue causes when words fly
The tedious minutiae of days that do not end
Numb the pain of each loss.

When I climb the hills and look my fill
The other side may be in darkness
But the comfort of a new chapter
Will ease the awkward strain.

The seas look very calm
The light is just enough
I am warm and held tightly
I can let go.

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silhouette

so much better in silhouette
fine lines blurred at the edges
only the vague form can be detected
but for those looking closely
there remains sharp sadness
and great gaping holes of loss and doubt
but mostly people will see
a figure in all its regularity, lacking a spark
but it’s there! just sift through cobwebs and look
there will be cutting remarks and caustic wit
to keep out interlopers
but secretly arms are open wide
waiting to be filled
and filled with something good
it can be so hard when someone else holds the timepiece
to move anywhere but backwards
there is a path leading to joy
with stops at denial and forgiveness
not for others, just for the observer
let go and breathe deeply the simple silhouette
will shadow your whole journey
embrace then leave when you let go

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A Tight Grip on Remembering

 

Words can’t fill gaping holes in rock
Rebuilding doesn’t bring back the past
Only echoes of feeling remain
Only shadows of memories
I can’t bring myself to talk to a stone
Or visit a quiet place that smells of mothballs and platitudes
I would much rather visit you where it’s green
And the river sounds like your laughter

Others want to bring flowers or wear ribbons
While I want to run and run until I can’t stand it
To be so tired I can’t think anymore
So I fill up on other things

I read but the smell of the page reminds me of you
I sing but I choke on any words that try to escape
I walk and know you’re nearby and waiting
So I shiver and hope for more time

Tripping into mansions full of bird songs and breezes
Grasses nearby sway in the wind
The musty attic inside me is swept neatly under the rug
So many shades of dust swirl together
Are forgotten when I step outside
My skin drinks up the sunshine but my hands stay cold
Trying to keep my grip in the present but it’s hard to even want to let go
Because I don’t want to remember almost as much as I don’t want to forget

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