with abandon

wanting to find a way out
it seems like magic swirling around
sometimes consuming
more than I intended

glimpses escaped over the years
stories to tell
but not until recently
did I give myself leave to speak
now I can’t shut up

veering wildly across platforms
no compass
feeling very gonzo writing with no edits
letting the freak flag unfurl
wondering where I’m headed

today, this moment, I’m questioning why
that’s not a good sign
usually I stop dancing with abandon
and abandon the dance to think
and I’m not tired yet

I want to let go